


Any Model To Build Mischief On

by Shenandoah76209



Series: Chains [4]
Category: Firefly, Pitch Black (2000), Serenity (2005), The Chronicles of Riddick Series
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 06:38:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18338195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shenandoah76209/pseuds/Shenandoah76209
Summary: Malcolm Reynolds was only on Santo to do a job.  Serenity was still searching high and low for it's lost crew member but in the meantime, they had to eat.  Funny how things work out. They may not ever go smooth but information can come from the most unlikely source.





	Any Model To Build Mischief On

**Author's Note:**

> Will it serve for any model to build mischief on?  
> What is he for a fool that betroths himself to  
> unquietness?
> 
> -Much Ado About Nothing – William Shakespeare

They hadn't had any work on Santo, not in a while, but by a strange fluke they'd found a job there. Robbing a casino wasn't quite a sucker's bet but it wasn't for rubes either. Luckily they'd figured a way in and between Kaylee, Simon and Jayne they'd come up with a way to con the casino into thinking they'd be robbed. That prompted the casino to move all their ready cash somewhere safer.

There was just one little snag and he was looking at it. Red hair, luscious lips and a body that could have tempted the Shepherd into sinning. The job depended on nobody recognizing them or fingering them for involvement in the crime. Judging from the necklace she was sporting, one of them tracker types that tied into a bio-reader, she'd run into some trouble with the law at some point.

"Well…" She cocked a hip in what he imagined was a coquettish manner, never losing hold of the tray she carried. "Malcolm Reynolds. Up to no good are we?"

"Saffron," He nodded curtly. "Just here for a little R&R." He had hopes for a moment that she might believe the lie. Those poor forlorn hopes lasted all of two seconds. He really needed to remember what Inara had said about Saffron's schooling.

"Hmm…and I'm here because I'm volunteering as a cocktail waitress/whore," She drawled. "You're definitely up to no good."

"Well you can't say so for certain and I haven't done anything wrong," The yet at the end of that sentence went unspoken, at least by him.

Saffron had no such compunctions, "Yet." She rolled her eyes. "No time to chat with an old friend?"

"Not as such, no," He shook his head. He really had to get moving. He was only supposed to be on the floor for a few minutes, to give the appearance of an interest in looking over the games. Maybe place a bet or two, before returning to the room they'd rented and getting the plan underway. Once he was back, the whole crew would get going, out the window and down three stories between buildings and the job would commence.

Kaylee had disengaged the alarms on the window for just that purpose and cut the glass at the frame. It made the room a bit drafty but once they were back in they'd seal the whole deal back up and no one the wiser. And with all the cameras in the halls and on the casino floor he had an iron clad alibi.

"Well you've got two choices," Saffron shrugged at him making the brief dress she wore dip precariously over her outstanding breasts. That he was not looking at. At all. "You can either take me up to your room like you've hired me for the night and figure out a way to make it worth my while to not spoil your little party. Or I can go over to the boss and tell him there's a thief about."

"Fine," The words came from between gritted teeth. "Who do I talk to about booking you?"

"Collar does it all for you," She smirked at him. "Service'll be billed to the room."

"Great." He rolled his eyes and nodded offering her his arm. That she actually took it was a surprise, but she wrapped her hand around his bicep and passed off her tray to another waitress before commencing to coo and bat her eyelashes at him as if she was a giddy girl of fourteen. The contrast between the act and the cold-hearted mercenary woman she was underneath was acute. It was more than a little disconcerting if he was being truthful with himself.

"Right, here we are," He swiped the card through the door lock and pushed it open, going inside and tugging her in behind him so no one would just shoot her out of hand.

"What'n the name of—" Zoe's exclamation was cut off by Jayne's curse.

" _Tiān shā de sào zhou xīng_ ," The gunhand was not pleased, and really Mal couldn't disagree with him.

"Captain, I presume there's some sort of reason behind this…improvisation?" Simon's voice was calm but his hand was on his gun. Kaylee looked absolutely dumbstruck. And not a little pissed. Doubtless she was recalling Saffron messing with _Serenity_. Both times.

"She threatened to squeal I was a thief if I didn't take her up here and figure out a way to make it worth her while to shut up," He gave them the short version of events and looked at Saffron. "And now you're here, maybe you'd like to explain just how it is you got away from the law on Bellerophon?"

"And got yerself pinched," Jayne added in a grim tone. "And for what." He looked at Zoe and then at Simon, "Considerin' we ain't never had much luck on the side of good when we run into her. I vote we toss her out the window an' see how she flies." Zoe's half smirk implied she was in rare agreement with Jayne.

"You scored a Lassiter," Saffron reminded him hotly. "And you didn't even have to split the take."

"And you messed with _Serenity_ , both times," Kaylee had found her voice. Her objection was, typically, to the point. "Glad we ain't on her now, who knows what you'd do."

"Sir, I'd be interested in an answer to Jayne's questions," Zoe's cool voice cut through the rising grumbles of dislike from the rest of the crew, including him, if he was being honest.

"Well?" He folded his arms and looked at her. "Let's have it."

"I slipped the leash back in White Sun," Saffron rolled her eyes. "Doesn't matter how. I was working an angle here when I ran into…" She blinked and looked at Simon thoughtfully.

"How'd you get pinched?" Jayne prompted her, "Try to marry someone here?" Her face said it all and the gunhand began chortling in genuine amusement. Even Simon smirked obviously getting the joke though none of the rest of them did.

"Captain, you'll recall she married you while you were drunk?" Simon's voice was amused and Mal nodded still not quite seeing the humor. "I've no doubt she did the same to Monty, and the dozens of other men she's 'married'. But if she ever tried it on Santo she was off planet before her marks caught on."

Jayne nodded grinning like a loon, "Santo's got laws, 'bout marryin' someone what's drunk or drugged if ya ain't in the same stupid way yourself. It'll get ya a fifteen-year hitch on an indenture to the highest bidder an' a tracker stuck in ya."

Mal looked from his gunhand to the ship's doctor who was nodding in all solemnity and then at Saffron, whose face revealed just how accurate Jayne and Simon were. If she'd been looking at milk it would have curdled her expression was so sour.

The laugh that burst out of him was nothing compared to Kaylee's uncontrolled giggles or Jayne's very loud chortling at Saffron's expense. Simon was chuckling into his hand, ever polite, and even Zoe unbent enough to crack a half grin half smirk.

"So your little tricks turned 'round an' bit you in the _pì gu_ ," He grinned. "How'd the fella trip to it?"

She didn't answer, instead looking at Simon with narrowed eyes, "Aren't you missing someone? That girl? The one who said I was a thief and a liar and no good would come of me? Back when we were just off Triumph?"

"That ain't none a your business," Jayne's growl would have impressed upon a lesser woman that shutting up was the wisest course.

"Oh, this is too rich," Saffron's smirk was not a sight he enjoyed seeing. Not one little bit. "Didn't see either of them when we pulled the Lassiter job. Since he's here and she isn't, I was just poking about you missing someone. But you really have lost her."

"My sister," Simon stood. The Doc wasn't the tallest of the crew, nor the deadliest, but nobody, not even Zoe did cold fury like Doctor Simon Tam. Since River'd been gone he'd found new depths to his rage and he could give Jayne a run for his money if you wanted someone taken apart. If you were under his care, you were safe. Anyone else was fair game and the Doc knew too much about anatomy to make that game fun to play if he decided you were the enemy. He hadn't tortured anybody, but he had given Jayne very thorough lessons in how to hurt someone without killing or incapacitating them. "You've seen her."

" _Chǔn lǘ_ ," Saffron rolled her eyes. "Why do you think I'm in this mess?"

"Tell us what happened," Simon's dark eyes were like black ice as he stared at the red-haired woman. "Now. Or they'll be scrubbing your blood out of this carpet for months to come."

Trained as she was, like Inara had told them Saffron had been, the woman knew when someone was bluffing and when they weren't. Simon most definitely wasn't. The scalpels he carried were sharper than Jayne's knives. Mal had picked one up and nicked himself. He hadn't even felt the steel parting his skin they were so smooth. Simon had shaken his head, bandaged Mal's thumb and four days later, taken the same scalpel and sliced the throat of a man who'd been holding a gun on Kaylee and the baby. He'd gotten almost as fast as his sister. But life on the rim and sparring with Jayne would do that.

Sometimes he wished Simon had never had to pick up a weapon, or use tools that were meant to heal to take a life. The Doc was still a good man at heart, killing took its toll on him. This was the first time he'd ever threatened to kill someone in cold blood and meant it. Kaylee looked some unnerved at his tone but Jayne shot her a look and she closed her mouth over whatever objection she might have made.

"I'm waiting," Simon's chilly core voice prompted Saffron.

"I was in a bar, looking for my next mark, when this big _hún dàn_ comes in," Saffron's smile was more than a little avaricious with memory. "Built like a cinderblock jail and solid all the way through… thought he was just some dumb gun hand. Gorgeous though, not Core handsome or pretty, just…sex on the hoof." She made a face, "We were getting along just fine until she came in the bar. Little slip of a woman with dark hair and eyes. He couldn't take his eyes off her. She was dancing and he just stared. After, she came up to us at the bar, said hello to him and he ordered her a drink, lemon water."

"How did she look?" Simon's voice was just a touch too eager but thankfully Saffron didn't push her luck.

"Thin, but pretty healthy. She had knives under her blouse, and in her boots too I'd bet. Just as many as he had on him, for certain. Had her hair wound up in a chignon too, like she was expecting a fight," Saffron shrugged. "Maybe she was. But they exchanged some pleasantries, she tells him to have a good night and that it seemed like I was getting impatient. Which I was. So, he and I left."

"That weren't the end of it though," Jayne prompted her to continue. "What happened?"

"I get him to an alley and I give him a dose of Morning's Delight," Saffron shrugged.

Simon must have caught Mal's bewildered look because he interjected with an explanation, "Similar to the Goodnight Kiss, but it doesn't knock the victim out. It makes them suggestible, and along with that, enhances sensation. It's a variation on an older drug called Ecstasy, with an addition to make the victim very agreeable to whatever is suggested. Using it on someone to take advantage of them sexually will get you forty years indenture on a water planet if you try it in the Core. Out here…" He sighed. "It's one of the most heinous drugs there is, in my opinion. Because it makes the victim agree to anything."

"So along with being raped the victim has to remember that they went along with it, and it felt good, no matter what," Zoe's expression expressed her repugnance though her voice was flat and calm as ever.

"Exactly," Simon agreed. "Can you describe him, other than 'gorgeous' or 'sex on the hoof'?"

She sighed as if put upon but nodded, "Tall. Muscles on top of muscles, dark skin but not as dark as hers," She nodded towards Zoe. "Graceful, even drugged, and well spoken when he dropped the act he was putting on. He could talk Core as good as she did. Clean shaven, and that includes the hair on his head, his eyebrows were black though. And his eyes were strange."

"Strange how?" The Doctor pressed.

"It was dim in the bar and even with the lights, pretty dim outside too, his eyes looked black or grey, but now and then when the light caught them, they looked silver," Saffron shrugged. "Maybe he had something done to them."

Simon nodded obviously making mental notes before he looked at Saffron again, "What happened after you dosed him? I take it things didn't go as planned?"

"Not hardly," She shook her head in irritation. "First I can barely get him to move, and the dose I gave him should have had him eating out of my hand. Then he walks but he's hesitating the whole time and trying to talk to me. I got him all the way to the chapel, he's leaning against the wall of it, not moving, and she shows up."

Mal couldn't help smiling, an expression both Jayne and Kaylee echoed, "Yeah, she does have a habit of doing that."

"Well she starts spouting Shakespeare, of all things," Saffron sounded both irked and amazed.

"Really," Simon looked intrigued. "And he understood her? What was she saying?"

"Oh, he understood her easy enough. She was quoting Much Ado About Nothing," Saffron might as well have started spouting Latin for all the sense her words made to Mal. "I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace, and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob love from any. In this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage."

"Yeah that's—" He started to herd the conversation towards a more helpful direction and was cut off.

"I'm thinking I can bluff her, and tell her that he's mine for the night," Saffron was nearly bursting with irritation. "And she's calling him Jon, by the way, and saying 'In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke. What is he for a fool that betroths himself to unquietness?' And it's like seeing her just snaps him out of it. He gets a hold of my arm and the two of them drag me into the chapel and the girl explains that I drugged her partner."

Jayne was shaking his head in amusement, "Gorram, should've known she'd be the one to take you down."

"You might want to be a little less…high and mighty," Saffron was smirking now. "Since I know where they went."

That got everyone's attention.

* * *

 

It wasn't easy to set aside their need to find River and concentrate on the job. But the beeping from Kaylee's cortex signaled their need to get moving.

They couldn't exactly take Saffron on the job with them. He wouldn't put it past her to get them all pinched just because she could. Jayne had just chuckled and whispered something in Simon's ear. Simon had wrinkled his nose but nodded his agreement. "Hold her," He'd instructed Jayne and before Saffron knew what they were about Jayne had her immobilized and Simon was injecting something into the base of her neck.

Saffron slumped over almost immediately and Jayne commenced to very professionally tying her up and added the precaution of tape over her mouth. "Cain't trust her not to kick up a fuss just 'cause she can," Jayne shrugged. "Knew Simon had that stuff in his bag. Had to dose me with it after the Lassiter job when I messed up my back."

"It's a paralytic," Simon explained as he put the bag somewhere safe. "A blocker to keep the nerves from sending messages to her muscles."

Mal blinked in surprise but shrugged his indifference. Jayne and Simon were getting along a lot better since Jayne had tracked the Doc down and pretty much saved him from bleeding to death. That, along with Simon helping Jayne out with his letter writing and providing Mattie medical care which pretty much saved her life. They still bickered sometimes, like brothers, but they were united in their concern for the crew of Serenity and protecting that crew.

"Right, well let's get moving."

Of course, along the way Jayne had to bring up the tough question, "So what's she gonna want outa us d'ya think?"

Simon was frowning as he concentrated on his work, handing Kaylee her tools and monitoring the cortex for spikes of activity that would indicate some counteraction needed. "Knowing that you have a doctor aboard I'd imagine she wants that bio-tracker removed so she can skip out—Kaylee," He warned the mechanic who nodded and did something that had Simon nodding, "We're good."

"Can ya do that?" Jayne was full of the questions today. "Thought them things had a… whatchamacallit… dead-man's switch?"

"They do," Simon made a cautionary motion with his hand and Kaylee slowed her work accordingly.

Mal hated waiting around like this, it felt like any minute someone would shout 'Stop! Thief!' and the game would be up. "So whaddaya do with one of them," He asked just to keep his mind off the traffic at the mouth of the alley.

"It's…tricky…" Simon was clearly dividing his attention. "But it can be done…" He frowned and then nodded over something. "I'll admit I don't care for the idea of her roaming free."

"Who said she's gonna," Mal smirked. Jayne and Zoe looked at him curiously and Mal shrugged, "Far's the hotel's concerned she's in my room, servicin' me. We leave one of the tools to cut the glass under the bed, careless like, Saffron's out the window, I wake up in the mornin', all shocked like that she's gone, with drugs in my system. They think Saffron's up to her old tricks. Anything she says sounds like she's tryin' a frame up on me to throw off blame."

"You want me to disable the tracker for a short amount of time," Simon's lips quirked up in amusement even as he held up a hand to caution Kaylee. "So she thinks it's done, and when she leaves and you wake up in the cold and drugged, all your money gone…"

"They're after her not you," Zoe finished. "You'll have to call one of us at the ship to come pay for the room."

"That'll lend credence to the tale," Simon agreed and grinned as his cortex beeped. "That's it Kaylee, you're brilliant. We're in."

That got them down to business.

* * *

 

Simon was a genius doctor, that was a fact. Mal grinned as he injected Saffron with something to counteract the other drug he'd dosed her with. "Right. I've made an incision and stitched it, rather than using a skin bandage. That will look more like she had some back-alley doctor do the work."

"Nice touch," Mal chuckled and took a seat in the chair as Saffron began to stir.

Simon gently dabbed salve on the wound he'd made and helped her sit up, "You may experience some dizziness. And I'd caution you to not exert yourself more than you have to for the next day or so." He warned her. "But the bio-tracker is disabled. You're free to go. After you tell me where my sister and her partner were going."

Saffron's eyes had brightened minutely, which for her was as good as a grin, near as Mal could figure. "Hmm… When I was chatting him up in the bar, seems to me the big man, Jon, said they were headed towards Beaumonde once they were done on Santo. Santo was after a job they'd done and they were taking a day to relax before they shipped out again." She shrugged her indifference, "Anything else?" She stretched, showing off her figure, and Simon nearly rolled his eyes.

"Yes. Don't break your neck on the way down," He gestured towards the window and the rope leading down the wall.

Saffron looked around the room appraisingly but seemed slightly let down that none of them were carrying any obvious loot. It might have taken half the night but they'd gotten it all stowed away. And out of Saffron's sight. The look she gave Jayne might once have had the big man drooling but now he just huffed and pointed at the window, "Git goin' ya prairie harpy. Ain't gettin' caught in yer web. You're free an' clear, don't do nothin' changes that. I'm still fair attached ta the notion a seein' if you can fly."

Saffron gave him a pout and bent down to pick up the rope, making the most of Jayne's view down the top of her dress but the gunhand wasn't taking the bait except to take the other end and help to lower her down. Once she was out he stuck his head out the window and watched. "She's goin' 'round the corner."

"When ya'll leave be sure she ain't hanging around to follow you," Mal instructed, probably unnecessarily but still, he had to do some captainy things.

"We'll be careful," Kaylee smiled at him. Her bag slung over her shoulder she wrapped the rope around her waist and began to climb down to the alley after Zoe.

Simon held up a syringe, "A needle is more likely than my usual pressure syringe, so I'm going to dope you with something that should wear off in about four hours. Checkout is in two so they'll be coming up to make sure you haven't skipped shortly after that."

Jayne was making sure the window was sitting on the floor against the wall and shoved the cutting tool under the dust ruffle of the bed while Mal emptied his pockets of any valuables into Simon's bag. "All right. I'll be suitably bleary eyed and bewildered."

"This should make it easy enough," Simon injected him more sloppily than usual, leaving an angry red mark that would bruise nicely. Mal blinked as he started to feel dizzy.

"Huh…"

Dimly he was aware of Jayne cursing and pushing him so he wasn't going to fall off the bed before sleep clobbered him over the head with its steel toed boots.

* * *

 

The pounding at the door might have been knocking to whoever didn't have steel toed boots dancing a jig on his head. "Eyeah…" He mumbled and pushed himself off the bed nearly falling on his face in the process. "Tha' could've been ugly…coulda split my lip or…somethin'…" The pounding sounded again and he stumbled towards the door, pulling it open and narrowly avoiding the edge of it smacking into his cheek. "Hmm… huh?"

Much as he would have liked saying his muddled state was put on he was not that great of an actor. The two men in the smart jackets and creased trousers regarded him with mixed expressions of irritation and confusion, "Mr. Reynolds?" The taller of the two asked with the air of hoping he was wrong.

"Uh…yeah…Cap'n…Captain Reynolds…" He nodded and the movement nearly made his head fall off. "Gorram…what hit me? I drink the bar dry or what?"

"That you did not," The shorter fellow shook his head. "Perhaps you ought to sit down?"

"Yeah…" Mal retreated into the room and sank into the chair rubbing his arms to warm up. "Think the heater's broken or somethin'…"

"Not the heater, the window," It was the tall fellow again. "I'm afraid I'll need to call the manager Captain Reynolds this is…unexpected."

Mal stared at the window and for the life of him couldn't understand for several minutes why the pane was on the ground instead of in the frame. When he did remember he was still too discombobulated for it to show on his face, though the plan from the night before was coming back to him. "There was a… girl… one a your girls…met her downstairs…"

"Ah, Vanessa," The shorter fellow remarked quietly as he checked something on a hand-held cortex while the taller one waved the management. "She came up with you in the early evening and the scan shows she remained here for approximately six hours."

He shook his head and immediately regretted it, wincing and reaching into his pocket to check the time, "My watch…" He looked at the dresser which was empty of everything but the box of tissues and control for the cortex. "An' my wallet too… I had 'em last night."

The short man looked grim, "Do you have any injuries?"

"My head's like to burst but mostly feels like the mother of all hangovers," Mal rubbed his neck, exposing the ugly bruise and slight tear in his skin. That drew their eyes and the taller man murmured something else into the comm.

"The manager is on his way up," He announced when he disconnected the wave. "He's also sent for a doctor."

"Got a decent doctor on my boat," Mal frowned. "Got some cash there too, can settle up for the room if you wave my boat. Have my crew bring it over."

"We'll certainly wave your crew," The tall attendant nodded. "I don't think you should be walking much until you've been examined."

"Feels like I've had enough whiskey to fell an elephant," Mal sat back down, his attempt to stand aborted as his head spun.

* * *

 

Simon knocked on the doorjamb, holding his case, Jayne a hulking presence behind him. "Captain," His expression was concerned as he hesitated in the doorway. "We thought you were coming back to the ship this morning?"

"Ya win a lot at the tables?" Jayne was playing the uncouth gunhand to the hilt, "That was a fine piece ya had with ya. Last we heard you's plannin' ta hit the tables an' win a fortune."

Mal mentally blessed Jayne's quick mind and the very simple backstory he'd provided, "You might could say things didn't work out as planned." He looked at Simon, "Doc, you got my spare wallet. Like to pay these folks for the room."

"Captain Reynolds, if you wouldn't mind going over the sequence of events again?" Mal looked over at the manager with a sigh.

"Yeah, if you really want to hear it once more," Mal sighed and began the story again. Thankfully what he'd told them so far matched what Jayne had said, to a point at least. "Got the room, went down to the casino, take a look around, figure I'd get the lay of the land, maybe pick up some company, might place a bet or two." He frowned as Simon began to examine him, a light in his eyes making him blink and fingers on his throat to check his pulse. "Doc, the hotel medico did all that. I got dosed is all."

Simon ignored him and looked at the hotel's medical aide, "Have you determined what she dosed him with? He's reacting as if he's been given a heavy dose of a sleep aide."

"Without a blood test its difficult to be certain," The aide prevaricated. "But I would agree with your diagnosis."

Jayne was scowling at the manager and staff equally, "Ya mean ta tell me one a your whores rolled him and you're still gonna make him pay for the room?"

"The watch was my grandfather's," Mal told them honestly. "S'all I got left of my family."

Simon regarded the manager with his steady gaze, his voice and bearing unmistakably White Sun in origin regardless of his limp and early morning beard shadowing his face, "It's not as if the Captain can return to Shadow and pick up other family mementos." He informed them coolly. Mal ground his teeth wishing the Doc had kept his mouth shut about that particular item. "And I'm a bit disturbed that the supposedly 'state of the art' tracking system you have on your indentures has allowed this incident to occur at all."

What Mal going over the story five times plus, bleary eyed and more and more irritated by the second had failed to accomplish, Simon's imperious manner, impatience and disappointment made the work of moments.

The manager began stumbling over his words on the defensive in the face of Simon's cutting remarks. The staff and medical aide looked extremely uncomfortable and the two bouncers/bellhops edged towards the door, hoping perhaps that they could slip past Jayne. They couldn't.

One of them, perhaps in an attempt to soften Simon's annoyance offered to fetch Mal's bag and pack it for him. Unfortunately, it looked as if Saffron had made away with that item as well. Jayne smirked at him when no one was looking and Mal barely kept from smirking back. Jayne had gotten a damn sight more thorough in how he worked a heist since Simon had begun pointing out the aftereffects of carelessness. No doubt the gunhand had grabbed Mal's case along with anything else that would imply Mal was telling something other than the truth.

As Simon was quietly and methodically giving the manager a verbal evisceration, the cortex screen chimed and another face in a security uniform appeared. "Sir," The new face addressed the manager who appeared relieved to see anyone who was not Simon or part of _Serenity's_ crew. "You instructed us to inform you immediately should we pick up the signal on the missing bio-tracker. We have a force closing on the location."

* * *

 

That, of course, meant they had to wait for Saffron to be captured and brought back. Spitting and hissing like a scalded cat and cursing a blue streak. Mal hadn't heard that kind of language since Zoe had gone into labor.

"You!" Her eyes narrowed and she nearly slipped the grasp of her guards as she lunged towards his face, fingers curled into claws. "You are a lying, _méi yòng hún dàn_ Malcolm Reynolds."

Mal blinked at her, still feeling a bit dizzy, though he was at least standing, and took a moment to be grateful Saffron hadn't reached his face. "Uh…last I looked you robbed me." He looked at the hotel manager for help in the face of this seemingly _diān dǎo_ woman."

"We had a deal!" She was almost screeching.

Mal nodded slowly and Jayne put a hand under his elbow as he swayed slightly, "Easy Mal." The big man cautioned. "You near fell on your _pì gu_ once already this mornin'."

"You said he," She pointed a fulminating finger at Simon, "Could remove the tracker! Free and clear you said." She stared at Jayne and then Mal, her gaze hard and calculating, "You dosed me and did your job, likely robbing the place so you'd have an alibi."

He blinked at her and looked at Jayne and then Simon, "Uh…"

Simon shook his head and patted his shoulder gently so as not to unbalance him. "I'm afraid that Jayne and I haven't ever met this woman in person. Of course, we saw her when the Captain waved us last night, but…" He spread his hands as if confused.

"You're a doctor," The manager was regarding Simon thoughtfully. "Her tracker was disabled."

Simon nodded, "I'm a trauma surgeon. These days I do emergency work on the border and the rim, and general doctoring, as Jayne would say." Mal was mentally cursing that now was the time Simon felt the need to tell the truth.

Jayne snorted in derision, "You're better'n any other doc out there and we all know it."

"Could the type of work to disable a tracker be done here?" The manager addressed his own medical aide.

"It could but…" The man shook his head, "In these conditions? There isn't any blood here and there'd be plenty. And the skill it would take…"

Simon frowned, "You believe it was done here?" He looked around the room thoughtfully. "I'm afraid I'd have to agree with your man. Even if I had skin bandages, proper light and instruments, there would still be blood and a bit of mess. Even in a hospital that's unavoidable. And if my understanding of the bio trackers is correct, the surgery and circumventing the security protocols would take at least six to seven hours."

Unless you had the foresight to put plastic sheeting down and take it with you when you left the way you'd come in, Mal thought to himself. And you hadn't really done anything more than give it a hiccup that lasted six hours. Saffron's expression had become, and he wouldn't have thought it possible until it happened, even darker with her rage at what she was hearing.

"They've robbed the casino," She insisted. "They're setting me up."

Jayne rolled his eyes, "Don't see how we could. Ain't like we'd known Cap'n'd take up with you."

"And, I must remind you my dear," The Manager was patiently condescending. "We have cameras on all the halls and sensors on the doors. No one goes in or out, or even comes to the floor without security being aware. I have been assured that no one but Captain Reynolds entered or left the room until he returned with you last night."

"Maybe she thinks Simon climbed up and got in the window she busted," Jayne snorted in derision. "Like he'd risk somethin' messin' up his hands."

"While I might have put it more delicately Jayne is right," Simon agreed. "This room is on the fourth floor. I might have toughed up a bit since leaving White Sun but I still can't climb the side of a building."

"Doc cain't even get a meter off a the deck on the exercise rope," Jayne smirked at the shorter man.

"Thank you, Jayne," Simon's tone was repressive. "I believe they now have a complete understanding of my capabilities. Or lack thereof."

"I believe so," The Manager nodded. Having had ample time to observe the three of them and being on the receiving end of Simon's scolding he'd gotten quite a good look at the doctor's hands. Simon might be able to do everything he and Jayne denied he could but he didn't look it and his hands were still that of a surgeon. "Captain Reynolds, I do apologize for this most unfortunate incident."

* * *

 

Mal took a deep breath of ship's air and grinned out at the Black. "Let's set a course for Beaumonde," He told Mattie. "Got a line on our missing crew." The galley still had coffee on the stove and he poured himself a cup, joining the rest of the crew for a belated breakfast.

"They really bought it?" Kaylee was still marveling that they'd gotten away with the heist and managed to keep Saffron from making anymore mischief.

"Hook, line and sinker," Mal nodded. "Helped that the aide looked at the incision on Saffron's neck and told the boss that no way in hell was that done by a surgeon. Told her she was gorram lucky whatever idiot had cut on her hadn't nicked her spine. She's got another ten years on her indenture thanks to her escape attempt."

"Didn't even look at Mal sideways after Simon laid into 'em," Jayne chuckled. "He's better'n schoolmarm for makin' ye feel the fool. Manager was practically kow-towin' ta him after."

"Nobody came sniffin' round the ship, looking for the payday," Mal looked at Zoe.

"No sir, not a peep. Not even a wave from the Feds." Zoe shook her head as she fed her son.

"That's what I like to hear," Mal nodded, still half smiling. "Wasn't a bad couple days work all in all."

Simon half smiled, nodding his agreement, his eyes slightly brighter now that there was news, even secondhand news of his sister. "Do you think that partner Saffron mentioned, the man, Jon, is the same one you said was with her at Badger's?"

"Built like a cinderblock jail and solid through," Mal nodded. "Matches what we saw of him." Tall, dark skin but lighter than Zoe's. Shaved skull and muscles, knives… the only thing missing from Saffron's description were the goggles he'd been wearing on his forehead when they'd stumbled over the pair of the in Badger's den. He said as much adding, "Might have grown up underground, miner's kid, has eyes that're sensitive to light."

"You said he seemed…protective…" Simon sounded as if he was grasping at straws that his sister wasn't in a worse situation than the one he'd taken her out of at seventeen.

"Possessive," Mal corrected him. "He was all 'my kitten'. Threatened to gut us if we followed him."

"That would go with the knives," Simon murmured. "If he thought you were a threat to her…protective can sound possessive."

"Course is set for Beaumonde," Mattie announced as she entered the galley.

Mal guessed they'd find out which one it was soon enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: So you all have sxevlbtch to thank for this. She suggested that Mal and the crew meet her again since River and Riddick had a run in with her. She wanted Saffron talking to Mal about the encounter and Mal figuring out it was River and Riddick who got her locked up but I couldn't think of any scenario where Mal would be friendly enough with her to just sit and talk. Thus the Casino Heist. Hope you all enjoyed.
> 
> Chinese Translations:
> 
> Tiān shā de (goddamn)
> 
> sào zhou xīng (comet / jinx / bearer of ill luck)
> 
> pì gu (butt)
> 
> Chǔn lǘ (silly ass)
> 
> hún dàn (bastard)
> 
> méi yòng (useless)
> 
> diān dǎo (To turn upside down / to reverse / back to front / confused / deranged / crazy)
> 
> Quote Sources:
> 
> I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace, and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob love from any. In this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage. – Much Ado About Nothing – William Shakespeare
> 
> In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke. – Much Ado About Nothing – William Shakespeare
> 
> What is he for a fool that betroths himself to unquietness? – Much Ado About Nothing – William Shakespeare


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